Look Out 2008!

Happy New Year! I already like 2008 because of the roundness of the numbers involved.
Christmas was Christmas. Michigan was overcast and strangely lacking in snow. I will not bore you with the devastating details of the slow sink of the automotive industry and all of the houses and people it is taking with it. I will, however, regale you with tales of rough and tumble Detroit and a Gawker-esque ranking of some of our adventures:

1. Trip to the Comet Bar.
Located on poorly lit street with mud parking lot -5
Mix of hipsters and Vietnam vets: +5
Diehard karaoke participation: +3
Cash only: -10
Dogs allowed: +2
Dog food on floor: -2
Man in tank top singing Beyonce's "Irreplaceable": +25
Old Christmas decorations: -4

2. Insane Christmas Shopping Spree to Fairlane Green mega-strip mall:
Located in close proximity to parent's house: +10
Old Navy, Target and TJ Max in one place: +5
Shoppers who looked like a mix of 8 Mile extras and Irish thugs: -15
Pleasant (and empty) Barnes & Noble: +8
Customers rifling through heaps of clothes at Old Navy as if it were loot from a
shipwreck: -10

3. Trip to the newly renovated, expanded, improved Detroit Institute of Arts
Full of people: +100
A collection that rivals any major city: +50
Informative signage and explanations of work: +20
Friendly security guard and staff: +10
Closed cafe: -5
Eating sugar out of packets to maintain normal glucose levels: -10
Standing thisclose to a Rodin sculpture: +80

Christmas itself was a split between neurotic family outbreaks (I will not bore you with the details of my mother's "pita breakdown" on Christmas eve) and a relatively stress-free experience. DG has given me the strength and guidance with how to deal with my parents' stubborn refusal to enjoy life outside the home like normal people. Though we could not actually get my mother to join us at the DIA, she did get online and research the entire museum in order to talk herself out of joining us. Sadly, that is progress.

Avoid karaoke bars with a clientele 50% hipsters and 50% Vietnam vets.