Ennui and Me

I’ve been suffering from summer ennui. The two words side by side look like an interesting Japanese dish, but in fact, there is nothing so adventurous about it.


In some recent excitement, I judged a fiction contest. I can safely say that 98.5% of what I read was painful and unreadable. As in “Galbraith raised his chalice and turned to me.” Or, one story about a team of cats taking over a woman’s house and stealing her baby. Or, another tedious tale of a publicist at a retirement home who painstakingly details her conversation with a WWII vet who speaks in platitudes. I do not joke. Luckily, one of my fellow writing workshop cohorts won first place! And, in an even stranger “Being Jon Malkovich"/"Whatever Happened to Baby Jane” identity stealing twist, I was asked to accept the award on her behalf since she had already left for grad school. It was really a bizarre experience to accept an award for someone else AND try to do their story justice by doing a reading. I also had a weird summer cold which gave me a slightly raspy voice. I hope I sounded like Joan Wilder in “Romancing the Stone.” Fun times!

So, the fiction reading and recent resurgence of interest in actually writing urged me off the couch on Sunday to Barnes & Noble. I really wanted to buy this book , but, since it was a ridiculous $22, I opted for his other acclaimed book . I’m nearly done with it, and it’s pretty good, but I’m getting a strong D.H. Lawrence, Virginia Woolf crossed with “Remains of the Day” re-heat. Not to mention the “tragic misunderstanding” which occurs is actually rather Seinfeld-esque*

If it were set current day, it would be called “Wedding Crashers.” I assume any female who has suffered through co-ed junior high has probably received letters far more disgusting, only to have to continue attending classes with the jackass who sent the letter and watch him triumph in popularity on the soccer field and, his only punishment being--as is apropos for such jackassiness—a slow wither into adulthood after attending a sub-par regional college no one has ever heard of, marriage to the height of female perfection in 1993, and a slowdive into mid-life crisis while his kids run rampant with his credit card and his life drifts out of view.

But, this is set in 1935, and lewd letters totally up the ante of morals, ruining a man’s life, etc. I mean, it’s a good way to get into the class issue, and I’m completely minimizing the expert way the drama unfolds, the descriptions, etc. but still. If it’s going to be dramatic I need full on intrigue or murder!

So, as the Summer Ennui crept into Reading Ennui, I turned on the telly and flipped between “The Hills” and “Kimora: Life in the Fab Lane.” I feel totally guilty even thinking it, but I kind of like her. She’s really kooky and crazy, and somewhat without self-awareness. Or maybe that’s her thing. Either way, she’s like a big gay man in a woman’s body and such performance cannot go missed. “The Hills” is kind of eh this season. Without the idiocy of Heidi’s whining about actually working and the Jason the Werewolf drama, it’s kind of boring.

Except for Audrina’s beau who is totally channeling Eddie Vedder or, Ethan Hawke in “Reality Bites,” or any guy who attended college between 1992-1994. It’s kind of funny to see Cool Guy Circa 1994 interacting with Cool Shiny Girls 2007. It’s hilarious, actually. Especially since he is totally trying to be the bad guy.

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See, Summer Ennui taints everything! I tried reading the VF interview with Shia LaBouef, but it could not hold my interest. All the young male stars seem so non-masculine and interesting right now. I was all on board for Jake Gyllenhal and Heath Ledger, but that’s where it ends if they are under 35.

Alright, the complaint train is coming to an end. Next stop, lord only knows!

*Spoiler Alert: If you plan on reading the book, you may want to stop reading. Or, you may want to read it to save yourself 100+ pages of dramatic build-up:

Basically, it’s 1935, class system is totally “Gosford Park” (sans Clive Owen) and a house servant who has been educated by owner of the manor home (sent to Cambridge, ready to attend med school, yada yada) gets the hots for the daughter. So, he decides to write her a letter telling her as much, except he writes TWO letters one is completely lewd (as in “I want to kiss your cha-cha” lewd. Literally. Except he doesn’t say cha-cha, he says the other c-word), the other letter is “I love you, etc.” Guess which one he accidentally passes on to the youngest daughter to give to her sister? Yep. The lewd letter. Through a series of MAJOR misunderstandings, the younger sister assumes he is a maniac and he is accused of rape and sent to jail.

Babies And TV

Reading: The latest issue of Entertainment Weekly with "All the Buzz on 120 New Films!"

Drinking: Coffee

Thinking: Why is Patrick Dempsey considered hot?

I understand the whole "McDreamy" shtick, but I will only ever remember him as Ronald Miller from "Can't Buy Me Love." Therefore, he is forever a geek who can't dance who's younger brother (played by Seth Green, nonetheless) is cooler than him. How am I supposed to erase those memories and switch to "Oh, he's so hot!" In fact, on many occasions I completely confuse him for John Cryer. Take that popular opinion!

Watching: Mad Men on AMC

Thinking: Best new show on television since, since. . . "Flight of the Conchords." MM is fantastic. The production value is that of a big budget period film. Seriously, the clothes, the office furniture, the tiny details (cigarette holders on every available surface, the furniture in the apartments and houses.) The list goes on and on. It's like walking into a John Cheever story--suburban angst, pregnant housewives who smoke and drink, mysogynist husbands. It's got it all! More importantly, it covers the beginning of the advertising golden age which is very interesting. Actually, it's the first non-criminal television show since, I dunno some legal show, that actually takes an industry and makes it a jumping off point for personal drama. I mean, on every other show, the characters' jobs are completely passenger seat to the plot. But on this show, profession and character are linked. And that kind of thing I love. So, watch it!

Listening To: Syrius Satellite in my car. I got six-months free with my new lease and I have no idea how I lived with the crap that passes for music on regular radio. I actually get the BBC and a billion other interesting channels. Granted, I only have a 5-minute commute to work (I know, I should walk), but it's like listening to your roommate's music. I know, welcome to the 21st century.

Planning/Executing: A hostile takeover of a non-profit arts agency that shall remain nameless and a baby shower. The former has yet to occur, while the latter went off swimmingly yesterday afternoon. Four of us planned it for our first pregnant friend, and we managed it with military precision. I was in charge of party favors (I firmly believe if you are 1) asking someone to give up their Saturday afternoon for what is essentially a birthday party for the unknown and 2) receiving gifts, then you need to give some sort of "thank you" gift.) , coffee prep and The Cake. I'm totally not a fan of the 6-hour baby shower with tacky baby motif, so I was ecstatic to work with like-minded individuals. Since she doesn't know the sex of the baby, we did a subtle question mark theme (careful to avoid Joker-esque proportions) and played only one game which involved a tray of baby-related items. There are some crazy baby accoutrement out there these days. Anyway, it was fun, we drank mimosas and only one person got self-righteous about breast feeding, so we deemed it a success.

Missing: DG who has been in England for two weeks! Actually, I don't mind having some alone time, but after about, day 7, the novelty wears off and I get empty-nesty and, more importantly, have no one to share my commentary. He had to go back for an eye exam. I suppose we could have investigated the price of an appointment here, but since there was a fear he may have to get some sort of laser procedure done, we decided not to risk bankruptcy. And, who doesn't want to visit England when the US is going through a god-awful heat wave? Right after he left, with the heat index and everything included, it hit 120 degrees here. Unreal.

Wanting: A new bedframe. I found a fantastic headboard at Target.com but there was some sentiment that it looked too "1950s Paris," which I consider a completely prejudicial assumption as the actual headboard has straight lines. It's not like it was some sort of sea-foam "Peyton Place" looking thing.

Thinking: I need another cup of coffee.

New digs, new day, new kvetching. . .

Okay, so I'm in my car yesterday--it's 100 degrees here in the Old Dominion--my hands melting into the steering wheel, listening to my new Sirius Satellite radio and what does the DJ tell me?

Morrissey is in negotiations to join Blink 182.

I'll let that sink in.

I was so distraught I nearly drove off the road.

I was so distraught I just said to myself "Well, feck it all. I'm going to Starbucks." And you all know how I feel about Starbucks coffee.

As of yet I have found no confirmation of said merging of Moz and Stink182, but just the idea gives me a shudder. I would much prefer he would endorse a credit card a la the Rolling Stones. I would totally go for the "This Charming Man" account. Can you imagine the jingle?