Tales from the Mall

I cracked and went shopping today. I had no real specifics in mind, more of a vague notion for a need for interesting tops, perhaps a pair of jeans that fit correctly, a skirt (color undecided), and boots and shoes.

I started out at Macy’s which was, as usual, annoying. Somehow Macy’s is the cockroach-esque survivor of the department store apocalypse. In that, it has survived and devoured (I’m not sure cockroaches devour, but it’s the closest metaphor I have at hand) all of the regional department store chains in the United States. I wish it could have been Bloomingdale's or somewhere less over-priced JC Penney's feeling. It’s unfortunate because they have poor floor planning, over-priced products which are made less appealing by being shoved into poorly lit corners--$250 Calvin Klein wrap dress that I have to untangle from a jumble of other dresses (all made of some synthetic fabric)--I don’t think so. If I knew it was going to be that kind of party, I just would have cut to the chase and went straight to Forever 21. But, Forever 21 does not sell shoes, nor do they sell Origins products, so I had to visit at the altar of the department store.

It paid off-- nearly all of the shoes were 50% off—so I got these beauties in a really interesting shade of brown. The picture doesn’t do the color justice—it’s like an almost metallic deep taupe more than brown. And, they are real leather (sorry vegetarians). And, they fit over the dreaded skinny jean. Actually, dread is too strong a word—let’s say “difficult to work with footwear” skinny jean.

Anyway, any woman worth her salt has struggled to find the perfect boot—I dare say it is nearly as disappointing as the search for a perfect bathing suit. However, I do not believe that a perfect bathing suit exists, whereas a perfect boot is out there, you just have to find it. Here were some of my criteria:

1. Casual, yet capable of being slightly dressed up.
2. No pointy-toe (nearly impossible to find at my price point)
3. Must be of a believable shade of leather.
4. Preferably non-synthetic material
5. A snug fit around the calf and ankle, but allowing room to be worn over jeans
6. Stacked heel (aggressively flat makes me look like a pirate)

I also made out like a bandit(a)_at Nine West—shoes on sale, plus 30% off the second pair. Which made it a little less stressful to buy a pair of grey ankle boots I'm going out on a limb, but I think I can make it work. I am afraid the boots and oversized sweater/tops that are everywhere are going to push me into leggings territory, but I’ve opted for thick black tights when in a pinch. I just can’t do the leggings. The flats are just flats, but pretty cute and actually have a real sole so I will not be flat-footed by season’s end.

Then, I made my way to Forever 21 and let me just say it was Mod-tastic. It was as if the Red Sea had parted to see the “Real Housewives of Orange County” halter shirts with bedazzled center herded to the clearance rack. There were still some Destiny’s Child-video ensembles floating around, but for the most part the clothes erred on the side of “The Hills” sack dresses which only look good on the tall, the tan and the thin. However, I found a very interesting moss green cardigan with Balenciaga-esque sleeves. Even as I picked it up I heard Meryl Streep’s speech about the fashion trickle down in regard to the tragic cerulean blue sweater from “Devil Wears Prada.” But I bought it anyway, because $22.80 fits quite nicely into my budget for balloon sleeves this season.

Now, the most interesting discovery on my trip to F21—other than the bizarre nautical theme vis-à-vis a Godard film, or the warm and fuzzy feeling I got seeing young girls fighting each other for fun swingy mod clothes instead of having stupid sayings stamped on their asses, is that nearly everything I picked up said “Made in USA”! I’m assuming its that loophole definition of “virtually all of the product” being made in the USA, but still, shocking all the same. I assume most of Forever21 sprang from places I would rather not think about.

I did have some issues with not seeing a decent skirt anywhere, but I did get a very cool dark teal green shirtdress from Express, so that made up for the sans skirt issue. So, all in all, not a bad shopping spree, even if it did take place in a mall.