Doggie Poppins?

So, we survived the little bit of hurricane Hanna that we got in the form of downpours yesterday. I was watching my friend's dog--the sweetest English Labrador in the world--and he had an appointment at the doggie salon. All well and good, except that the downpour turned the poor guy into a washcloth before we even arrived. And let me tell you, those doggie salon people do not f-around. There was a woman in front of us with two fluffy kind of bichon frisse looking dogs, but curlier, and an argument ensued between BF owner and doggie groomer as to whether or not the dog had matted hair on his belly.

Salon owner: You said on the phone he was in good shape. But this isn't good shape (she says as she rolls over Dog #1 and starts picking through his fur) See? Right here, he's got mattes all over his belly. I would have to use conditioner on them and the time it would take to do that--it would be too expensive.

BF owner: Well, I'm not feeling the same thing your feeling. Can you just shave them?

Salon owner: I can't even comb through them. We don't like to do that because it's painful for the dogs.

BF: Oh.

Meanwhile, a line of various miniatures and owners is developing behind us and of course, they are all terrified of my borrowed dog because he is big and black (stereotypes exist in the dog world as well), despite the fact that his demeanor is about as fiery as Clifford. So, we get up there and the owner seems relieved.

Salon Owner: So, we also brush teeth for $3 and drain glands for $5. Are you intersted.

Me: (note: I never want to sign anyone up for gland drain) Um. I can't say, I know he's scheduled for a shampoo. I'm not the owner.

Salon Owner: (Nodding) I understand. (smiling) Are you the nanny?

Me: (WTF? People have DOG NANNIES?? Do I look like a dog nanny?) Nope. We're just friends.

How are you supposed to answer that? I didn't want to offend any other "dog nannies" in the line behind me but, come on, world. People are losing their jobs, being bankrupted by healthcare bills and now is the time to enlist the help of a DOG NANNY? Ugh.